LIVING LA VIDA LOCKDOWN
This week marks one week that COVID has been a part of our daily lives. Surviving this pandemic has been a life hack like no other. In many ways these 12 months feel like they spanned ten years and in other ways it has been the fastest window of my life. To mark this milestone my daughter and I posed the question on what we have learned about the world, ourselves, and the general state of being during this time. This experience has shaped our narrative in ways that are really too soon to accurately measure, but we each came up with the top ten things we now know because of COVID. This was a fun exercise we did separately, and it is enlightening to see the perspective of a 21-year-old versus her mom. I encourage everyone to make their own lists – it is a great tool in marking this window of time.
10 Things, 12 Months
1) DRIVE THRU WINDOW WORKERS ARE ESSENTIAL
I now have a special love for the people that work the drive thru windows. If I am being honest there have been days where this was my one human interaction outside my home. Sliding through the drive thru window and making small talk with the masked person in the window, yep that is me holding up the line (sorry). I have learned that the person at the window is the most important person in fast food and I am personally grateful that they provided the benchmark for human interaction during a crazy time.
Grace: I LEARNED I NEED HUGS
I used to not to like being touched. Now I love hugs. The CDC actually recommends that you receive 12 hugs a day to stay healthy – who knew? GO out and hug someone in your immediate circle.
2) 24 HOUR PHARMACIES ARE NOT REALLY 24 HOURS
I learned the hard way that these do not exist during a pandemic and hospitals don’t have pharmacies. So, when my son had a terrible accident and nothing for the pain at 4AM, I found myself racing down the empty interstate to a pharmacy 20 miles away to fill a hospital prescription for his pain. I have learned that it is ok to keep an emergency supply of medicine just in case there is a pandemic and the 24 HOUR PHARMACIES ARE NO LONGER 24 HOURS!!!!!!!! Oh and don’t have an accident requiring surgery during a pandemic.
Hi ho, hi ho off to surgery we go!
Grace: TIME IS A VACCUUM
Speaking of clocks, the concept of time quickly became an illusion as I still find it difficult to remember what day or month it is.
3) STORY TELLING IS ESSENTIAL TO SURVIVAL
I am pretty certain that there is lots of research on the human aspect of story telling and loving stories but I have now experienced it first hand. WHO knew that all these series on all these “cable” channels existed? I am fairly certain that I watched more series/tv this year than the sum of all my years, but that first phase was pretty rough and of course I wanted to have nightmares about being a baby maker in a red cloak because that is seriously mentally healthy material during a pandemic?!?!?!? I also took a deep dive into podcast material while working at my computer and I have a whole new appreciation for REALLY good story telling — even the fun banter of some of my favorite podcast hosts. In essence I have learned that we all have a story and most of us want to tell it in our own time. I have also learned that truth is stranger than fiction because who would have ever believed our entire world would shut down because someone ate bat soup?
Grace: I NOW HAVE AN ADULT IDOL
Jesus may have been reincarnated as Brene Brown. Her podcasts really helped me understand how our brains were responding to the new normal.
4) MOTION CAN MAKE YOU WEAK
My kids have always asked if I wish we could go back to a time without technology and my answer is typically yes. But there is always a pause because I have to dig deep into my memory bank to visualize and feel exactly what that feeling was like. For one I don’t recall anyone ever talking about anxiety as if it was as normal as having an occasional headache. The big adjustment for most of us came from having to be static. It is really interesting in retrospect to think that before COVID if you were not constantly pushing forward to the next thing, and really this is about constant movement in both thinking and physicality, then you were somehow not a productive person. So much of our self-worth is tied into what we are accomplishing and then we were told we could not accomplish anything. LET THAT SINK IN…. So, I learned that being in a constant state of movement does not necessarily strengthen our brains to deal with crises. Coming out of COVID I am fairly certain we are all going to have the mental bandwidth of the military and that might not be a bad thing.
Grace: WALKING CURES THE MIND
You can walk as far as you can drive. Trust me on this. Walks saved me as it was the one thing that helped the time pass quickly.
5) I BURNED A LOT OF CANDLES
I don’t even know where to go with this except to say there must be some stress response in burning candles. I must have burned a candle a week and that is a lot of wax- hope there won’t be a shortage on this anytime soon.
My new favorite from Clare V.
Grace: TEQUILA WORKS TOO
One major meltdown moment came when my brother took the last bottle of hand sanitizer and we had an epic fight. NEVER would I have imagined feeling so distraught about hand sanitizer! Thankfully the distilleries shifted production to hand sanitizers to fill the need and who knew that tequila works too?
6) SHOTS DON’T SCARE ME ANYMORE BUT THE NEWS DOES
Like many people I had to stop watching the news — it was just not the kind of story telling that was making my days easier and I have not gone back. Truth be told I find much more enjoyment in reading some of the funny posts of neighbors with stolen political signs and every other somewhst benign complaint you can imagine. If you are ever feeling like you might not have it together, get on your neighborhood listserv. Pretty certain you will gain a new perspective in reading the posts. One benefit of these groups is the distribution of information on vaccines as we are all seeking the liquid gold shot.
Grace: CUOMO, CUOMO, CUOMO
Ignorance is bliss in terms of watching the news. I may never get the Cuomo brothers faces out of my head.
7) THINGS TAKE LONGER AND MAYBE THAT IS OK
I cannot even remember what life was like before Amazon. I also cannot remember having all of these cardboard boxes at the end of my driveway each week which makes me feel really guilty. In the past I have justified the means to the end. Always pressed to squeeze minutes out the day and traffic, blah blah blah. One thing I have learned is that things that take longer are worth the wait. Most supply chains have been disrupted and the demand has been driven up in our industry which of course can be frustrating. What I have relearned is that the wait makes things so much sweeter. Suddenly, we have all adopted the most ingratiated attitude about receiving most everything under sun simply because we caught a glimpse of what it might be like to go without forever. It is humbling for sure but there is an exhale every time something gets delivered these days. It is as if we have somehow triumphed over a system that was trying to fail us.
Grace: TIK TOK REMAINS A MYSTERY
Everyone hit some form of rock bottom during quarantine. My rock bottom was when I wanted to become Tik-Tok famous (it is actually embarrassing writing that). Thankfully it only lasted two weeks at the beginning of quarantine.
8) MY HOME IS NOT PERFECT AND THAT IS OK
Maybe because I am in this business of creating beautiful homes it drives me bananas that my house has been covered in blue tape and a miscellany of unfinished projects for over a year now. I have learned that I am hard on myself because I always feel like my house needs to set the standard in order to demonstrate that I am good at what I do. I have spent an inordinate amount of time focusing on its imperfections when the truth is that my house has served us in our greatest time of need as if by divine intervention. I could not have possibly nurtured my son back to health, carried my daughter through some tearful nights when things went virtual, prepared nutritious meals when we had no other option, carved out corners for work from home and tackled piles and piles of never ending laundry without my amazing imperfect home. So there is perfection in imperfection and I have learned I need to embrace this.
Who needs light in a pandemic?
Grace: I NEVER KNEW A HOUSE COULD FEEL LIKE A BIRDCAGE
I didn't "know" my house until quarantine. We ALL became quickly familiar with the secret hiding spots tucked away in our house. Being confined for the first time in my life was not a great experiment.
9) IMPULSE PURCHASES ARE PART OF SURVIVAL
I totally do not have this one figured out but I made a lot of WEIRD impulse purchases with COVID. I somehow convinced myself that self discipline should be reserved for when we are in a normal state of being. The guilt and sadness I felt for my kids led to snow shoes and a blow up paddle board, a really great juicer (worth every penny), Apple TV and a myriad of other weirdness that I am sure will all be extrinsically linked to this period in our lives. So what I have learned is that if I am about to die someone should change all the passwords because things could really start piling up around my house.
Paddle palooza
Grace: FASHION TREND THAT NEEDS TO BE LEFT IN 2020
No tie dye sweat suit is worth any amount of money. Thank me later.
10) I HAVE SOME “BRAVE BITCHES” IN MY CORNER
“Brave Bitches” is the name of one of my group chats (I did not name the group) but it is true we have all been braver than we wanted to be. One of the best outcomes of COVID has got to be reconnecting with so many old friends (even if it was virtually). I for one was able to spend more time with my childhood besties which has made for some really cool memories that sustain me. It also provided a chance to reconnect with friends from college that I had not actively engaged with in 30 years. Slowing down allowed me to be more fully present to the funny banter on our phones and provided me with a connection that I did not know I needed. In essence it was eye opening and revelatory to know that even though so much time had passed, COVID allowed me to be a better participant in these meaningful friendships. There is a very real and rare honesty I see in our transactions that I am absolutely positive it is a direct result of being confined for such a long period. Opening my heart to these friendships also opened my eyes to the vulnerability of the human experience. Countless conversations with Grace on this topic has been a silver lining in this pandemic. We are forever changed but perhaps for the better.
